Now what's all this, then? This is the NSJ garden party, full of bloody drunken pirates. We've been boozing, eating, laughing, joking... Who are these dodgy geezers either side of me? No names, no pack drill.

What worries me is that one of them was drinking tea... It certainly wasn't me!

For those interested in my T-shirt, it says... Alcohol is not the answer, it's the question. The answer is YES!

Who likes my stomach?

NEXT